Different… what if everything was different? What if at least he was? We are so stuffed with the repetition of the ‘simple truth’ that we love someone for who they are and even if they were different we would not love them, but is that really so? It’s banal for sure, but is that the truth? What if you see someone changes, even he changes for bad and you are still in love with him? You ask yourself where is that cute gentlemen who walked with me in the park and gave me a tiny present for a tiny occasion, who wanted to make a 100 pictures of me, cause I was beautiful. I am the same, I am still supposed to be beautiful , the park is still there, but all this is gone. And it is gone, cause no matter what everyone says, people change..Now he is not so romantic anymore and we rarely go the park but I still love him. However, according to that ‘law’ above, I should go out of love because this is not the same person anymore. And if I try to change him, if I try to make him a kinder person again, everyone will say this would not be him anymore..Bur what’s actually ‘different’? Is that a state of mind, is that the actions themselves, is that the way he loves you and looks at you? Or is that simply a matter of occasion. A friend of mine said..people do not change, they just react differently in the different situation. So perhaps the situations are different, the factors are too many..Maybe we are all different all the time. It is like having a multiple personality. I read a book, fiction, about a woman with 92 ‘selves’, but my point is, what if this is not just fiction? Haven’t you though that someone acts like he/she has a mental disease, acting like two completely different people in two different situations? Aren’t we all suffering from that mental disease? I can write an angry message, I can act like I hate him, I can really believe I do, and a few hours later I am deeply and happily in love with him again. What the hell has happened in only a few hours that can make such a difference? Well, sometimes, it’s nothing. I just change my mind. And though I am sure I am normal enough and there are people who feel the same way too, or I’m sure that’s what love does to people, there seem to be many who can perfectly handle it, who can erase someone from the their lives and not see him/her again. Do they have that magical rubber, or they just have less ‘selves’? Or even just one..self. Haven’t you sometimes felt so certain about something as if you have only one self. It’s the thing that matters, it’s the person that matters, it’s how hard making that choice is for you. And still, there are these individuals who follow their decision all the way, not looking back for a second, not thinking it over, not giving the voice of these other selves. I’ve always admired that…determination in people. But when it comes to love, does everything has to be so final? Is it better for us to once put an end to it all or is it better to have that secret hope deep there to keep the hidden selves alive? If we isolate all the voices we consider wrong, won’t we isolate an option…an opportunity, won’t we isolate the hope? In the decision making process the first thing to do is to consider all the options, but actually what we do is get angry, pick the loudest voice and stick to it with all means. If it’s easy, we’ve done the right choice. If it’s hard, than we should probably get tired of burying and fighting all the other voices, and get confused again. So what’s the right one than? Can anybody tell for sure.. And what about out perception of the world around, about every single situation and every single word? Everybody interprets it differently, and here is it, the word we began with. So a decision affecting two people would always be different for both of them. There is no one right mutual decision. Let’s fall In love, let’s separate, or things like ‘we agreed to stay separated cause it’s better for both of us’. Oh come on, this can never happen..Eventually, it may be better, but usually it’s better only for the one who in fact took that decision. So what we do is making decision for our own and making the other accept or reject them. There is not such thing as a mutual decision, that’s even more fiction than the 92 selves. The question is: What’s the decision that’s most beneficial for both parties? In business there may be such, in love, and life, there is not. One of us steps back, and the other one is the winner…
ъпнала всички завеси и седеше разголена и влюбена.. засмяна и опряла пръсти върху витрината, където бяха отпечатани неговите. От известно време се питам какво ли е да гледаш човека, с който искаш да прекараш живота си.. Веднъж май ме погледна така.. Но душата не се зарадва. След всяка лъжа тя беше спускала по една завеса зад стъклената витрина и стоеше свита в един ъгъл... В началото беше лесно, този поглед беше достатъчен, той я гледаше право в очите, а погледът казваше повече от думите.. После бяха думите.. много думи, все безсмислени, 
защото в погледа вече я нямаше любовта и думите бяха безсилни. После дойдоха и лъжите.. те искаха да строшат витрината и да пленят душата. Но душата може да обича, само когато е свободна и когато се разкрие сама. Окованата душа само страда и лъже себе си, за да я боли по-малко. Но тази душа беше силна..тя се заключи, дръпна всички щори и пердета, намери един безопасен ъгъл и се сви там. И когато един ден видя отново този поглед, тя не му повярва. Споменът е ясен, може би погледът е казвал истината, но душата никога повече не му отговори и не се показа пред него.
